This is a line.
I tend to walk along this line like a tight rope. There is no safety net – if I fall, that’s it. The balancing act is over.
If I fall to the left of the line, I will crash permanently into a place I have been building for the last few years – the here and now. The shoots that are beginning to take root in this job, this town, this life will grow stronger and perhaps develop to a point where the thought of dislodging those roots becomes too traumatic to even consider.
But then, if I slip off of the right-hand side of the line I will tumble into the unknown. There is so much of the world that I haven’t seen and so few ties at this stage of life. Is this where I want my roots to grow? Is it here that I will meet the person whom, according to Louis De Berniere’s ‘Captain Corelli’s Mandolin’, my roots will become so entwined with that it is inconceivable that we should ever part?
I walk this line not because I’m afraid to make a decision either way, but because I’m passionate about both sides. I love where I am, who I’m sharing life with, what I’m paid to do; I’m not sure I want to be anywhere else but here. I love it far too much to lose it. But at the same time, what else does God have in store for me? Am I currently running down the path He has set for me, or meandering along an inconvenient detour? I want to see the world, experience life in all its fullness. Am I experiencing life in all its fullness?
The Rooted Hot-Air Balloon Dilemma
Imagine a hot air balloon with roots. The roots are taking hold and becoming stronger whilst at the same time, heat is rising inside the balloon and it is beginning to lift off the ground. There’s a battle going on. Are the strengths of the roots such that the hot air balloon cannot float up into the freedom and potential of the skies? Is the balloon strong enough to uproot years of dedication, preparation and determination in order to risk getting swept up in the bitter winds and thrust in a direction wholly unintended for it to go? This is the rooted hot-air balloon dilemma.
There are so many benefits to being young and single. The sky really is the limit and the opportunities are boundless. Although having said that, one of the curses of youth is the uncertainty of freedom. I’m not tied down, so it’s easier for me to float away from my roots, but does that make it the right thing to do? I have one of the best jobs in the world – I have no plans for that to change in the imminent future, but what about next year? What about the year after? What about in a decade’s time? Will I take root permanently here, or will the travel-bug balloon enough to carry me away?
One thing is for certain. I’m not going anywhere just yet.