Today is one of those days. One of the things I find the most difficult to cope with are decisions that I can’t control. There have been many of those so far in 2012; many good, some not so good. It’s already been a pretty monumental year and we’ve barely begun – but despite the challenges I wouldn’t necessarily change anything. The thing is, you find out about who you really are when you’re pushed and stretched. There is an assumption in British culture that you are supposed to fake your way to being OK, but I don’t think that’s entirely accurate.
What I do think is dangerous is letting a challenge in one area of your life spill into another; a domino effect takes hold and things can become pretty messy. I found myself in a situation last summer that I wouldn’t wish on anyone, but I let my feelings overflow into every other aspect of my life and struggled quite a bit. It’s so easy to do. I’m still on a journey with this, but I’m feeling more and more than it’s crucial to be honest with where you’re at without letting it affect everything you do. If you were to ask me how I’m doing today, I probably wouldn’t say “I’m really good, thank you”, but I certainly wouldn’t say “my life sucks” either. I’d simply tell you that “I’m having a bad day, but God is in control and everything will work out”. You won’t see me moping and you won’t see my feelings negatively affect anything I do. After all, the things that aren’t so good don’t have a patch on the fantastic things in my life that I’m so blessed to have. Can that be called controlled openness? I don’t know, but I thought the poster above from the second world war captures where I’m at perfectly. Who said blogging every day for a year was going to be easy??